It has been a long long time since I last went to Orchard for a walk.
And it is indeed rare for Best Bud Woo to want to hang out in town.
Since there was a Sony Vaio roadshow in Orchard, why not?
We kind of regret getting Ong Junda along.
Original meeting time was at 3pm. He was still sleeping at 2pm. He requested to change the meeting time to 4pm.
At the end of the phone call, he went back to sleep.
He woke up at 3.30pm when I called him. He said he had bathed and can get ready to go out and can reach by 4pm.
We called again at 4.30pm. He said that he didn’t have enough time and said he will ready by 5pm and told us to go to Orchard first.
He admitted to lying about having bathed when he had just woken up after going back to sleep after answering my call.
He said he will be ready by 5pm.
We called again at 5.30pm. His mama said he was bathing.
Well. I’ve given up hope on him. All girls should. If you are a girl and you happen to fall in love with him whcih is impossible for a man of such calibre, go get a match-making agency for help.
The man himself reached at a stunning 7.30pm.
And your big big name will be on one of the walls in Orchard Road when you are late for many many hours.
Now, everyone in Orchard Road knows that Ong Junda sucks.
Don’t blame us. Blame yourself for your lack of initiative and your absolute selfishness.
The point is, if you were on time, all these won’t be appearing.
All the more you deserve this award. I can’t think of anyone else who deserves this more than you.
At least you have something to be proud of.
I believe you will continue to win this annually over the next 10 years.
And girls, if you happen to fall in love with him, don’t bother. Consider me instead. I’ll certainly make a better catch.
But I still don’t see why girls would fall in love with a guy who owns an empty $90 Picard wallet and late for dates for at least 3 hours and won’t answer your calls. And a guy who watches porn everyday and talks about dirty topics.
I don’t own a Picard wallet, but at least I have cash inside. I certainly won’t be late for dates. I certainly will answer your calls. I certainly will reply your sms immediately. This is a habit of mine.
Consider me. But doesn’t mean that I’ll consider you.
Maybe only one kind of girl will fall in love with Ong Junda. Someone who is of the same league as him.
One girl who owns an empty LV wallet. Who will be late for at least 4 hours for dates. Who will not answer calls and will take days to reply one simple sms of yours. Who also loves to watch porn.
Yup. Perfect combination. Save the other girls from torture.
Anyway, that guy reached. By the time he reached, I’ve more or less decided on which laptop to buy. Best Bud Woo had already bought a pair of shoes and a pair of bermudas.
And me and Best Bud Woo saw this gorgeous babe. But we were disappointed when she stuck one lighted cigarette into her mouth.
Otherwise, Best Bud Woo would have gone over and asked for her number.
Yes. Best Bud Woo’s thinking suddenly changed. He is dying to go clubbing. He is dying to get attached.
Nah. Clubbing not for me. I’m a good boy.
Along the way, we saw this awesome Audi R8.
I still like pink Lamborghinis.
By the way, I saw 1 orange Lamboghini Gallardo, 1 green Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder and 1 Ferrari Modena in total along Orchard Road.
Still no pink Lamborghini around.
Don’t worry. I’ll be the first in Singapore to own that.
Walked over to Plaza Singapura.
Saw Setter Peng. Still as round as fat as ever.
Ate Carls Junior. Long time no eat.
Shiok sia.
Then we talked and talked. So carefree. Sit down there drink lemon tea and talk. Talk and drink lemon tea. Life rocks.
If only we can hang out like this every week. Less the super unprofessionalism reflected by Late King Ong.
I should have just prepared whipped cream. Never mind. Next time.
I’ll make sure his hair, his face and his clothes will kena.
After all, he still owe us one. Birthday long over already. Yes. We know. You think we’ll let you off so easily meh?
Edit @ 1.12am, 20 May 2008:
Hey Desmond. Seems like you are against Junda.
But come to think of it, we pang seh him. In the end, he lost out. While we had nothing to lose anyway.
Of course, it all boils down to what kind of guy he is.
I used to be like you too. Back in Sec 2 when we were doing this science project for the pervertic science teacher ever, Mr Lee Foo Yong.
I got so pissed off with him for some reasons that I threw the diskette on the ground and told him if he wanted to do, then do something. And I walked off.
He walked off too. Later I learnt that he went back to find the diskette but somehow it got lost. And later, I realised something real personal about him.
Only me and Jia Wei know this, because we felt that it’s better to keep this a secret. But if I tell you, maybe it’ll change your perspective of him.
You can’t really blame him, even though sometimes I feel like strangling him and whacking his butt with whipped cream.
Enough of Late King Ong.
And I was thinking Miss Lim Shi Ying will be absent for these few days due to her impending examinations which is most probably stressing her and driving her bonkers.
She must be on the verge of either banging her Kangoo into some petrol station, or driving her dad’s BMW to the Institute of Mental Heath and declare that she’ll be the first female Finance Minister of Singapore.
But wow!! Hello there. Somehow, your comment ended up as spam. Of course I recovered it.
That’s right. When you are stressed, come visit here.
Are you sure that Audi R8 I saw at Orchard was the exact one you saw along Holland Road? Heard that there are 7 Audi R8s in Singapore.
I saw that R8 near Cineleisure. It was parked at the hotel next to Cineleisure. I forgot what’s the name of the hotel.
I risked my life standing in the middle of the road taking that picture and almost got ticked off by the security guards.
Seems like you like to tailgate luxury cars. In your own luxury car.
Next time, don’t tailgate my car. Pink Lamborghini considered very rare breed.
If I suddenly e-brake, then you will buang. Then both of us have to pay big.
Audi R8 is chio. But it is not chio in pink. Therefore, I will not consider.
And seriously. No point tailgating ambulances. For what sia? Try tailgating a fire engine mah. At least you know there’ll be some drama after that.
Maybe you can try to tailgate Kimi Raikkonen and Felippe Massa on 28 September 2008 in your dad’s BMW along Raffles Boulevard.
Then we’ll see a BMW right behind 2 Ferrari Formula 1 cars while zooming past the Esplanade live on TV.
That will be an instant headliner on The Straits Times the very next day.
Edit @ 12.24am, 21 May 2008:
Follow ambulance? Unless you want to go to NUH, SGH, TTSH, CGH and whatever-H.
I’m thinking if I will be like you or not. Study until I go bonkers.
The last time I almost went bonkers while studying was during A levels. And yet still get lousy results.
Moral of story. I must be a good boy. Do homework first before watching TV and play computer games. Never try hugging the buddha’s leg at the last minute. Try offering joss sticks everyday. Probably because Buddha doesn’t like people to anyhow hug his leg.
How am I going to save Miss Lim Shi Ying sia? She’s pleading me for help.
Think Ah Seow! Think!
Financial Management. FM. To me, FM means Football Manager. Which is a fun game to play.
Sadly, I couldn’t find the Football Manager 2008 in stores. I’ve bought this Championship Manager 2008, which is not as bad as I thought.
At most don’t study lor. Drop out of school. Be a driver since I can see that you enjoy driving a lot. Then be one of the few females to get a Class 5 licence. Not bad, can drive a crane. Those 20-wheeler kind.
Then run over your Kangoo. That way, you might see your Mitsubishi Colt Plus the very next day right in front of 135 Kings Road. Or is it 136 Kings Road?
Actually, you have a choice of either running over that Kangoo or lifting it up and dropping it somewhere else.
If you don’t see the Mitsubishi Colt Plus after you ran over it in that 20-wheeler crane, threaten your dad to get that car for you at once or you’ll run down his BMW and his house too. Or you’ll lift his BMW up and place it on top of your house.
However, the tricky part is to try to manoeuvre the big 20-wheeler crane into the narrow Kings Road. It is not a 20-wheeler for nuts. It is humongous. If you can’t do it, I can get my dad for help. He is an expert in manoeuvring trucks and those big big vehicles.
After all, he is an expert in driving trucks long before Gorbachev took over the Soviet Union. Even though he failed driving 7 times. I mean, my dad failed driving 7 times, not Gorbachev.
Ok. I know. Crap. It’s so bored now at work. When I’m bored, I come up with more crap than ever.
You need help in studying your Football Manager Financial Management. Not help in how to get rid of your Kangoo. Getting rid of your Kangoo can wait. FM is more important.
After all, you said before if you fail FM, you will go jump from the tallest building you can find along Kings Road. Which is probably of a lower magnitude of the level I’m living.
I should help to save your life. In that way, I can be classified under the category of heroes. I should give you ideas on how to get at least a pass on FM, even though I know nuts about Financial Management but many many things about Football Manager.
Still. I think that traditional method works. This is probably the best help I can render to you.
Take out all your FM notes. Burn them. Collect the ashes. Boil water with the ashes. Drink. If you find the taste sucky, you might want to add some honey in it.
Posted by ahseow11 
